LOG ENTRY 008

The Unexpected Detour

Cancer didn't change who I was… It reminded me who I wanted to be.

If you've read my previous Journals, you'll know that I've spent more than forty years on the road. Touring. Promoting. Managing. Building. Always moving. Always believing the next opportunity was just around the corner. For most of my life, standing still simply wasn't an option.

Then life decided for me. This wasn't actually my first encounter with cancer. The first came back in 2012, T2 oesophageal cancer. At the time, I was representing EFM Global and then in 2013 Global Motion, and I was absolutely determined that cancer wasn't going to beat me. I kept trying to work. I kept trying to tour. I kept telling myself I'd soon be back to normal. But cancer had other ideas. Despite every effort to carry on, it took me away from the industry I loved for almost two years. For someone whose life had always been measured in flights, ferries, festivals and motorway miles...Standing still was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do.

Eventually, I recovered. Eventually, I found my way back onto the road. Like so many of us... I convinced myself the worst was behind me.

Then, in 2023, life knocked on the door again. This time... T3a Prostate cancer. There was no warning. No preparation. One day, I was planning tomorrow. The next, I was wondering what tomorrow might look like. People often ask me what cancer feels like.

The truth is...

It feels different for everyone. For me, it wasn't just the illness. It was the uncertainty. Hospital appointments replaced airport departures. Scans replaced soundchecks. Treatment plans replaced tour schedules. Instead of asking..."Where am I travelling next?"

I found myself asking..."What happens next?"

The first diagnosis taught me something important. Life is fragile. The second has taught me something even more important. Surviving isn't the same as living. That simple realisation changed everything. I began looking back over my life. Not at the jobs. Not at the tours. Not at the artists. At the choices.

How much time had I spent helping other people build their dreams? How often had I quietly put my own ideas to one side because the timing wasn't right? How many times had I accepted..."Maybe one day..."

Cancer has a habit of removing the words..."One day." All you're really left with is..."Today."

For years, everyone who knows me has heard me say the same thing. Usually with a smile. Sometimes with frustration. "I'm sick and tired of chasing rainbows and hunting unicorns." Behind that joke was a lifetime of disappointment. Projects that never happened. Promises that were never kept. People who saw my enthusiasm as something to use rather than something to believe in.Yet somehow...I never stopped dreaming.

Treatment gave me something I'd never really had before. Time. Time to think. Time to reflect. Time to ask difficult questions. If I came through this...What would I do differently? The answer surprised me. I didn't want a different career. I wanted a different purpose. I realised I didn't want to spend the rest of my life helping everyone else build their dreams while quietly shelving my own.

If I were fortunate enough to have another chapter...I wanted to write it myself. That chapter has become Terra Nueva. Not because I wanted to build another company. Because I wanted to build something that brought people together. Something bigger than me. Something that might still be creating opportunities long after I'm gone. As I write this Journal today...That journey is still very real. Only this afternoon, I returned from a consultation with my new urology team here in Scotland. Because I chose not to have my prostate removed, there will always be the possibility that the cancer could return. Recently, my PSA has risen, which means more investigations, more conversations and more uncertainty. That's the reality. I'm not sharing it because I'm looking for sympathy. Far from it! I'm sharing it because it explains why I refuse to waste time.

Life has now taught me—twice—that tomorrow is a privilege, not a promise. These days, cancer has become part of my life. Not the whole of it. Just part of it. There are days when treatment catches up with me. Days when my energy disappears, and my body reminds me that I can't keep the pace I once did. That's become my new normal. I've stopped fighting that reality. Instead, I've learned to respect it. When I need to slow down...I slow down. I recover. Then I get back up and carry on. Sometimes a little wiser. Always a little more determined.

Cancer may slow me down from time to time...But it will never stop me. People often tell me I'm determined. They're probably right. Some might even call it stubbornness. Whatever it is...It refuses to let me give up. Terra Nueva has only just begun here in Dundee. There are still conversations to have. Partnerships to build. Young people to inspire. Artists to support. Communities to connect. Dreams to turn into reality. That gives me more energy than any treatment ever could. But there is one lesson I've learned that matters more than any other - I cannot build Terra Nueva on my own. And I shouldn't. For most of my life, I believed asking for help was a weakness. Now I know the opposite is true. The greatest achievements are never created by one person. They're built by communities. By people who share a vision. By people who volunteer. By people who encourage. By people who challenge. By people who simply decide... "Let's build this together."

That has always been the dream. Not to create another company. To create a community. A place where music, film, gaming, technology, business and creativity inspire one another. A place where opportunities are shared. A place where people genuinely want to see each other succeed.

If these Journals resonate with you... If you believe Dundee can become something extraordinary... If you believe that communities achieve more together than they ever can apart... Then I'd love you to become part of this journey. Not because I need followers. Because Terra Nueva needs fellow Explorers. People prepared to believe that impossible dreams become possible when enough good people decide to build them together.

Looking back now...

I don't see cancer as the end of my story. I see it as the unexpected detour that finally pointed me towards the life I was always meant to live. Sometimes the road we never wanted to travel...Leads us exactly where we were supposed to be.

The journey continues... 🌍

Next Log:The People Who Opened Doors

"None of us reaches our destination alone."

Stu